Saturday 28 June 2014

Golden Syrup(s) is a new blog designed to highlight the male celebrities who are bald but can't bear (or should that be "bare") to show the world their hairless pate. Burt Reynolds, William Shatner, Bruce Forsyth, Chuck Norris are just a few of the many celebs out there who thinking having a rug strapped on your bonce is as natural as farting in a crowded train carriage. Over the next few months my pal Arch Stanton & I will be on the look out for syrups, toupees, rugs, wigs on famous bald men.

I will start the blog off with a fairly recent picture of 1950's teen idol Marty Wig (sorry I mean Wilde) father of pop songstress Kim.

As you can see Marty clearly uses chip fat to give his toupee that unwashed look to make it look more realistic. Well Marty that has to be one of the most revolting syrups we have ever witnessed here on Golden Syrup. Toupee Tip for the day - "Use lard to give your wig that greasy look, far more realistic than used chip oil." Burt Reynolds 1979.

 Well, I have been watching some of karate king Chuck Norris's early movies of late, the ones where he didn't need to slap on a syrup. Here is a 2012 picture of Chuck wearing a wig that is obviously made of teflon.


Boy oh boy that is a shocker there Chuck. At least if it rains then it will just bounce off that dead rat stapled to his head.

No blog of ruggers would be complete without Radio Fab's DJ Tony Looney AKA Tony Blackburn. A long term wig wearer is our Tone despite his protestations to the contrary.

 Smooth? Yes your fictitious hairline is looking very smooth Tone!

One of the worst wigs doing the rounds these days is sported by the former Tubeway Army singer Gary Numan. Who does he think he is kidding with this poor defenseless black rat glued tight?

It looks as though it is made from shiny plastic material. Looks well crap anyway.

I will finish off the first entry in this ongoing saga with good old Sir Clifford Hairpiece. Sadly now reduced to having to cover up his baldness with this shite ginger thingy.
Arch is off up north (where it is grim, apparently) this week but will be a regular contributor on his return. So keep your eyes peeled now that Golden Syrup's Wigwatch is in full force
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6 comments:

  1. Mario Fabranski19 April 2019 at 13:59

    Well I would like to defend famous people who glue, weave or tape a small circular mat on their bonce. It's better than those nerds who buff their bonces with wax polish every day to a brilliant shine.

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  2. Mario Fabranski19 April 2019 at 14:06

    Be bold by being bald. Let the sunshine dazzle off your shinning bonce. Best keep a little hairy pelmet round the edge to show it off. Better still grow the pelmet at the back into a pony tail bound with an elastic band. Love like to the full. Shine!

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  3. Unknown17 July 2020 at 15:50

    This is great LOLerz! I piss myself laughing at bad wigs. Well, wigs are bad by their very nature, but there are degrees-of.

    Also! Guys who don't wear syrups, but stop short of a buzzcut, instead opting to fuck around neurotically with their twelve remaining hairs. Often tinting or dyeing said dirty dozen :)

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  4. telboy13 October 2020 at 13:03

    I concur. Maybe when he's finished with it he can give it to his plastic missus Gemma for some new eyebrows.Ha

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  5. Unknown28 March 2021 at 08:15

    Is there no answer to hair loss yet

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  6. Unknown18 April 2022 at 13:19

    Numan and his wife are both plastic surgery addicts and could well be addicted to other substances as well.
    Marty Wilde is still a damn good singer even in his early 80s, some of his wigs are legendary for being so bloody obvious.
    His latest now is a grey wig.
    Joe toilet brush browns hair has always struck me as false.
    Terry Wogan had some real corkers in his time, some a bit longer, others a bit shorter, varying shades of grey, giving the impression that he was letting his hair grow and then having it cut.
    In an ideal world it may of worked, but he always looked like a bald man wearing a silly wig.

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